5 Characters
4 Men. 1 Woman (can be a stagehand, no lines)
Simple Set
47 pages
Produced at The William Redfield Theatre, NYC (Professional Production.)
Produced at Dowling College Performing Arts Center (Student Production.)
Four-character play exposing the demands of the business world transforming innocence into corruption.
Rooster runs his coop, a place where they sell anything to anyone.
Boy, is a recent college graduate that wants anything but to be working for this creep, who was just like the boy once.
Web, is a hot-shot salesman who is hiding in the closet because he died humanly and feels safe with limitations surrounding him. His death was due to the numerous boxes he lives in, psychologically, emotionally and humanly.
Song, is an out of work singer-songwriter who now homeless, enters seeking money to get off the street.
Through this surreal comedy, Rooster trains Boy and Song to learn what it means to survive today in the business world, and culminates in Boy taking over the coop so Rooster can retire, while Song takes on the role of the Boy at the end of the play. Until an innocent young woman enters who wants to become part of the business world.
Boy’s transition into corruption from innocence, happens as Rooster trains him, and colors his face green as his is, dressing him in the same clothing he wears, until Boy is more ruthless and cut-throat than Rooster – which pleases Rooster.
To read Excerpts from the play, click Read More below.
Note that formatting in the excerpts are not centered, and instead, left justified.
The PDF of the the play is in correct format.
WRITING SAMPLE
EXCERPT 1
Web’s Box Monologue sums of the basic theme of the play.
ROOSTER
(nicely, to Web)
What were you doin’ in my closet?
WEB
I walked into it thinking it was the hallway. But when I got in there, I felt at home. I didn’t want to leave. I even thought about renting it.
ROOSTER
(calmly)
I sent you out on business and you walked into the closet and stayed there?
WEB
Yes.
ROOSTER
You’re my ace number one salesman who’s supposed to be out there making us rich. What is this Web?
WEB
I feel awful.
ROOSTER
You’re dead huh?
WEB
Yes.
ROOSTER
Who killed you?
WEB
I’d rather not say.
ROOSTER
on’t start playing Ring Around The Rosie with me I pay you, I asked you a question, you answer. Go.
WEB
I woke up in a rectangular bed in a smallish box in a somewhat larger box in the world. I rose up from the rectangular bed in the smallish box in the somewhat larger box and walked down a rectangular hallway type box into another box where I made coffee and sat at my box-like table gazing into my backyard which was enclosed by a fence squaring it off. Finishing my nourishment, I went into a small box inside the somewhat larger box and sat on a ROUND bowl. I became confused and sadly thought this was the only unique experience of my day. I flushed my humanity and cleaned my stink and went into the first smallish box with the rectangular bed and opened many small drawer-type boxes inside a larger dresser box which contained my underwear. I opened a rectangular door that opened up into a larger walk-in box which held my coverings. I covered myself in layers and colors and checked my briefcase-like box to be sure it contained all of my daily necessity boxes: my calculator box, my note box, my address book box, my iPad box, my computer box, my phone box, my pill box, and all my other little boxes and I walked out of my box into openness.
(screams)
I WAS TERRIFIED.
(resumes normal voice)
I entered my garage-box into a moving box that was not moving. I pulled the moving box onto a rectangular driveway onto a long road which was divided down the middle by lines and also at many different points to stop, to go, to stop, to yeild, to go – but only in designated ways by people I could not see. Invisible rulers. I noticed there was a sky.
(screams)
I WAS TERRIFIED.
(resumes normal voice)
I heard, behind me, a honking horn like a man bludgeoning his family with an ax. I moved forward in my box. I stopped in a parking space box and walked outside again.
(screams)
I WAS TERRIFIED.
(resumes normal voice)
And yet, relieved my journey for the moment was over. I entered a long rectangular box that moved and went toot toot, toot toot, and sat in a seat box boxed in by other people who I could see. Boxers. I got out, and came here, took the box that moved up another long box to this floor. I entered this office box. I remembered the sky and I cried. There were no tears. I felt out of place here. I ran into the closet-box. It felt secure. I knew where everything was. I thought of renting it.
ROOSTER
Uhhh… Now it’s time to go out there into that great big box and make lots and lots of small rectangular greeeeeeeen boxes. Am I speaking your language?
Web nods.
EXCERPT 2
Rooster teaches Boy what the meaning of business is all about – as Boy keeps losing sales.
ROOSTER
…You let him hang up..?
BOY
…No…Y…no…
ROOSTER
…Do you know what this means?
BOY
Yes?
ROOSTER
Do you know what this means?
BOY
No?
ROOSTER
You know what this Godamned absolutely without a shadow of a doubt means?
BOY
Maybe?
ROOSTER
This means that my kid won’t go to college. This means that my wife won’t be able to charge at the mall. This means that we all might end up in the gutter face down with stock brokers stepping over us.
BOY
It was only a phone call.
Rooster, shaking bodily, falls to the floor in a tantrum.
ROOSTER
Only a phone call? Only a phone call? Is that what you said – it was only a phone call? It wasn’t only a phone call. It was more than a phone call. It was the possibility of money. It was the possibility of things. It was the possibility of MORE.
He rises and sits behind desk shaking and grunting, pulls out cocaine and snorts twice. A large mass of cocaine is stuck to his face.
ROOSTER
(very up)
OKAY!!! Now you listen to me.
(Rooster mimes a duel)
You get on the phone, or you go out and you meet with a prospective buyer, whatever, it’s a face to face duel. You gotta remember that under all the smiles, the laughs, the confidentiality, all of that, the amenities, there’s survival
(stabs the invisible opponent with his invisible sword)
You do whatever you have to to get that sale. You understand me kid? You do anything.
(Rooster fences with an imaginary partner)
You survive. You give him your home number, take him out for dinner, tell him to bring the wife and kids, you give him a break, knock ten percent off, whatever,
(stabs the partner, his sword gets stuck in him)
but you get the sale. You survive. You do not die. You live.
(tries to pull the sword out using his foot to help pry it out)
You hold the spear. You don’t let him hang up
(throws the imaginary spear, watches for a moment until it kills an imaginary person in the distance)
Until you’ve got the cash. Understand?
BOY
I’m sorry.
ROOSTER
No you’re not. You’re never sorry. You only say that to get by one second to the next. What do you think you’re dealing with here kid, a dummy?
(pause. Laughs)
Why do you work for me? I wouldn’t take this shit from me. You’re a wimp.
BOY
I need the money.
ROOSTER
I know it.
(he laughs)
Wimp. You take that? I wouldn’t. I’d quit!
BOY
Can I start?
ROOSTER
(laughs)
Don’t forget you get paid minimum wage plus a ten percent commission on anything you sell to anyone. I don’t care who it is. I don’t care what you sell him. I don’t care how you sell him. The sale, is all there is. You beginnin’ to get the big picture here?
BOY
Can I start?
ROOSTER
Go ahead.
THE BOY DIALS. THERE IS A KNOCK AT THE DOOR.
ROOSTER
(to door)
WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE A BUTLER?
Rooster takes out the scotch and drinks from the bottle.
